Busy, busy, busy

You’ll find few people in life who are busier than I am. I work full time and I’m enrolled in 13 college credits. I’m an accelerated student. The simple definition of being an accelerated student is that most of my education comes from self-study. I spend one hour in class and four hours outside class for each credit in which I’m enrolled. Let’s do the math on this.

There are 168 hours available in a week. I spend 42.5 of those at work and 65 with school activities. That leaves 60.5 hours per week for other activities. This equates to less than nine hours per day for sleeping, eating, showering, my 40-minute, one-way commute, and time with family and friends – many times by entertaining them in our home. Additionally, in the last semester, my mother-in-law was hospitalized for two weeks in a city more than an hour away. I managed to visit her five times during those 14 days.

We also have five adult children and three grandchildren. We try to attend every activity they are involved in and support them in their work. There are birthday dinners, softball games, choir and band concerts, basketball games, and church and school plays and programs.

My life requires balance and strict scheduling to accomplish everything. I’ve traveled in the passenger seat of our car on trips with my open laptop on my lap writing papers. I’ve had textbooks in my lap while camping with family and friends.

Some things are overlooked because they are low on the priority list. Our cars go too long between oil changes. Our Christmas tree had lights but no ornaments this past year. And you could write your name in the dust on our bookshelves if it wasn’t for our awesome cleaning person.

If anyone can claim the label of “too busy,” it is me. I am not sharing this to complain about my life. Or to brag about it. It is not a badge of honor. I don’t share this to show I’m in demand. My hectic schedule is just life. My life until I graduate in five months.

I share this because I have a pet peeve and I need to address it. It is the phrase “too busy.”

I’ve invited a good friend to dinner at least three times over the past year. Each time my invite has been met with a response telling me how busy she is. She is a single mom who works part time and shares custody of her kids with their father. How busy can she possibly be? This response did not make me feel valued as a friend or as a person.

I believe this line is a cop-out used to protect peoples’ feelings. If someone invites you to do something and you really don’t want to it, it’s easier to say “I’m busy” that is it to say “I’d rather not do that” or “I’d rather not spend time with you.” It's possible it is also used to protect the person saying it. It's easier on the ego to say "I'm busy" that to admit the suggested activity isn't in your budget.

Either way, when I hear this phrase repeatedly from the same person, I feel like I am being blown off in the nicest way the speaker knows how to blow people off.

In contrast, we were invited to a friend’s lake home last summer. We were busy on the date she suggested but we wanted to spend time with this couple. My response to her invite was, “I’m so sorry. We’re busy on that date. Can we look at another time? I know we’re available on…”

I gave her three dates over the next two months when we could visit with them at their home. I believe my choice to offer other dates let her know they are important to us, we value their friendship, and we wanted to spend time with them.

I was on my way home from work tonight when another friend posted on Facebook that he was going out to dinner. He asked if anyone wanted to join him. I've been trying to connect with him for months. I really should have stopped at the eye doctor to pick up my contacts and gone home to study but I didn't. I turned my car around and headed in the direction of the restaurant he suggested. We spent a wonderful evening catching up.

I don’t usually make New Year’s Resolutions. I believe that every day is a good day to make positive changes in life. We each have the same 168 hours in our week. We choose how to spend those hours. From this point forward, I will never tell our family and friends we are too busy. I will find the way. I will find a reason. I will make an effort so every important person in our life feels important to us. I challenge you to do the same. Well, unless you need help moving. Then I'm busy.

prompt: busy